This weekend I've let myself check my email and voicemail more than is healthy. I'm both comforted and disturbed by the fact that this seems to be every person's reaction after giving their contact information to a potential...good time? Mate? Significant other? Thing/person to do on the weekends?
I'm not desperate for any of that. I just hate going cold turkey from conversation and oh interesting person hi there why yes let's have a conversation of the bonding sort to [this is the sound of me all alone staring at my sociology paper]. I hate the abrupt slam of silence when I'm not sure if I'll ever hear from the interesting person again. It makes me paranoid that I dreamed up the whole thing and was talking to my backpack the whole time.
I like my communications fast, clear, and out in the open. Once they're out in the open, I can commence the task of combing through them, sorting them, throwing them away or braiding them into the whole.
But in order to not scare anyone off, I've become just as bad, spending the weekend restraining myself and calculating what any small, significant (online) gestures might mean, obsessing over whether I missed one and whether or not I offended anybody if i did.
My cell phone--I'm blaming it for that last part. The voicemail message icon has been there since the SSA talk, which was in a building that throws me off my network so I didn't hear any ringing, or any voicemail chime. Okay! Yes! This might be some communication! Whoo! Actual voicemail inbox says: "You have no messages."
One of them is lying. All of them are driving me crazy.
And see? Now I'm Facebook friends with SSA Guy. Thank you for responding, sir. You look really different without your beard.
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